10 Jul

Okay. So. In the last long while, someone has Googled “Justin Valmassoi” and arrived at this, my little poorly tended plot of navel gazing. Three times. This is my fault, because I did mention a brief and shining moment in which a) I thought I was human and b) I thought I had human feelings for the personality known as Justin Valmassoi. 

That was a long time ago. 

Who is this person? Because I am bored and curious, I googled Justin Valmassoi and went through thirty pages of results. No Mittens, No Pie did not come up. I did find this, which was hilaaaaaarious. 

Somewhere in this world, there is a person willing to slog over through 30 pages of the Internet to find…well, me. And the time I mentioned him. 

Justin, if it’s you, I will donate $50 to your Move to Scotland fund if you stop. Bookmark the page, please.

Mrs. Valmassoi, if it’s you – well, congratulations, first of all. Also rest assured that your husband never loved me. 

To anyone else, you know that I loved him once, or I thought I did. You should also know that I never slept with him. That’s the most important part. 

The Internet really is forever, you guys. 

One Response to “Trifecta”

  1. Stephanie July 11, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

    It most certainly is! There should be a review of content posted over five years ago on the internet. Times change too quickly! I recently googled all my email addresses to wean out things that I had posted forever ago on random websites and deleted old accounts/comments etc. It’s a good practice. The way we use the internet has also changed! I googled ‘itchy lips’ yesterday (I apparently ate something that I’m allergic to) and one of the top five sites was a fourteen year old boy asking a community back in 2006 why his lips were itchy, and immediately ruling out STDs since he hasn’t even kissed a girl yet. The top response was somebody apologizing for him still being a virgin despite all the nice girls around him before advising it could be an allergic reaction. Maybe I’m just older now, but I feel as though internet etiquette has changed, and, although back in 2006 it may have been more common to insult people you don’t know on the internet, today it just seems kind of… awkward….

    Just like your Justin Valmassoi post. Whoever this guy is, his ears must be ringing!

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