Archive | August, 2012

A Conversation My Father Had With Himself About His Cat, Buddy

24 Aug

Look at you. You don’t like your sheets. You don’t like your blankets. You only sleep on red stuff. He’s tired, though. Look at him. 

My Head and My Heart

19 Aug

Tonight I am going to pick up the Older Sister at the airport (with my parents – they don’t trust me with such precious cargo for a 2 hour drive to the homestead, obviously). Today is a day when I should be celebrating my marriage, but as you might recall, that will not be the case.

My sister is carrying the first grandbaby of our family, a child I love with a ferociousness that startles me. When he is born, I  might break with the weight of my affection for him. I cannot imagine the joy she feels carrying his heartbeat inside hers. Today I will get to touch her stomach and maybe feel the baby kick. For the first time in a year, I will get to see my sister.

Nothing has turned out like I thought it would, you know? But I cannot imagine today being any better than it is going to be. Or tomorrow, I guess. Basically everything is perfect lately. I hope you’ve noticed.

Conversation I Had Tonight

7 Aug

Can you imagine if I gave birth to a child that eventually wanted to be an Olympian? I would be all, are you sure you want to be a gymnast? What about a piano?

Exactly! We can definitely get you a piano.

But a gym? Not so much. Plus, Mommy’s going to be tired. And lazy.

Right. What about piano or just…resting?

Expect More

5 Aug

I was at the grocery store in the middle of the night recently, as one sometimes does. I saw a very fancy looking girl open up a package of pre-shredded cheese and eat it in the middle of the produce department. Her less-fancy looking boyfriend seemed non-plussed.

I also saw a middle-aged couple with two brimming carts at the 12 items or less U Scan machine. One cart was full of 20 ounce bottles of Pepsi. The other was filled with $4 carnation bouquets. To say that I wanted to go home with them is an understatement.

You, Me, and the Apple Tree

3 Aug

If I could give high school graduates one piece of advice – this fantasy is predicated on me being allowed in high schools AND not vomiting at entering one – it would be this: if you happen upon something in this life that you do not like but it is not dangerous or immoral, fucking ignore it. There is no need to add your reedy voice to the Greek chorus of people bitching about their cold lattes on Twitter.