Archive | March, 2013

One-Sided Conversation with a Meijer Cashier

26 Mar

What does your chest say? That tattoo? Oh. Well, is it spelled wrong? A lot of people get tattoos with misspellings. There’s this web site that has pictures of the worst tattoos. It’s like, half spelling errors and half disembodied genitalia. So weird. The only tattoos I’m going to get are my son’s name on my forearm and “baby girl” on my shoulder. Oh, and I have the artist’s permission to get this thing on my arm. It’s like a punk rock alien girl with pink hair, Betty bangs, and a pleather turtleneck with black wings. It’s going to be awesome. 


19 Mar

I used to be fun, man. And then the other day I find myself Googling “episode of Frasier where Niles and Daphne hook up.” WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. I used to have a septum ring. Sob.