All That You Love

29 May

My darling dad has cancer. In order for him to get better, we have to almost kill him. Get him very very very close to dying and then coax him back. It’s a cruel thing to ask of someone, but we did and so he’s doing it. It’s working, because he got very very very close.

I walked the night road with my father. In his sleep, he begged God for release, for aid and succor. I knelt and eased socks on his tender feet, like you would with a tiny baby.

I cut his hair in the laundry room, while he hunched over in a kitchen chair.  I laid my head on his chest and tried to match my heartbeat with his.

This is my birthright, the most natural horrible thing for a faithful daughter.

He’s strong as ox. We have coaxed him back, for now, with the promise that next summer things will be different.

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